MY
Seminary lore holds that January and February are the most difficult months for seminarians. An adage past down through oral tradition says that seminarians aren't allowed to discern out during these months. There's a level of truth there. In order to properly discern something, a person has to be in a solid state of mind. Between the gloomy weather, growing stacks of reading and writing to be done, and the general stresses of community life, it is common for seminarians to experience desolation. Ignatian discernment reminds us that desolation is the time to persevere in prayer and faithfulness, not abandon the call.
I've definitely noticed that nerves are higher all around campus. I've seen some tempers flare, and noticed that people are a little less patient then they've been in the past. I've seen it creeping up in my own heart as well. Preparations are currently underway to hold our annual Basketball tournament over this weekend. I've heard that 90 seminarians from around the country will be coming to stay with us and play basketball. A week from now, we'll also be hosting the annual SEEK retreat for FOCUS missionaries in the area. It's a 500 person conference. Based on some of the community-addressed emails I've received, it seems like even the faculty are under pressure right now. Understandable - we're practically tripling in size for a weekend. Yesterday, I was able to make it to my Apostolic Assignment for the first time this year. (The bad weather and COVID quarantine prevented it the last couple weeks.) I was partnered up with a classmate and we drove to a nursing home. Masked and face-shielded by the home's policy, we visited the Catholic patients who were awake and any patients that seemed willing to talk. My experiences there are something I want to spend more time praying over. My heart was moved with compassion for everyone I saw there. We met with a man who had a large part of his skull and brain removed due to medical complications resulting from an assault. (Please pray for him, he is going to have a surgery to reattach a part of his brain and skull.) He was one of the sweetest, most humble people I've ever met, and it's self-evident how much he loves the Lord. It was practically radiating off of him. I asked him how his relationship with God became the way it is today. He said, "painfully." If I was grappling with any form of self-pity before meeting him and the other patients, it's gone now. I was so caught up in all the assignments yet to be done, the responsibilities to be taken care of after getting quarantined, and how abysmal it was that I wasn't getting as much (or quality) sleep as I would like, that in some ways I missed the point. Every suffering is meant to draw me closer to Christ. Every time the body of Christ suffers it looks more and more like the Suffering Head. As I contemplate and take steps toward the priesthood and the existence of the priest "in the person of Christ," I need to imitate Christ in offering everything I say, do, rejoice in, and suffer through as a gift to the Father.
1 Comment
Chug
2/13/2022 04:35:07 pm
Some of the most joyful people I have met are the elderly and dying. Volunteering regularly with the elderly and dying is also a good way to soften a hard heart. God Bless!
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