MY
The past couple of weeks have been the busiest weeks of the year at the Josephinum. Two weeks ago, we held a basketball tournament for seminaries around the country. Last weekend, we held FOCUS Mission's regional SEEK 22 retreat. Over 400 college students came to visit the campus, and we spent much of the week and all of the weekend making sure that the conference ran smoothly and trying to be good hosts. It was a powerful conference. My saturday-night-adoration job was to take care of the confession and prayer team lines. By my estimation, a third of the people who entered the line were crying, and many more seemed deeply moved. Two-thirds of the people who exited confessions were crying. I've helped out at big Catholic conferences before, but never as a seminarian, in a seminary, wearing a cassock. A lot of the attendees had never been to a seminary, let alone met or really talked with a seminarian. We were able to witness to the beauty of the seminary life.
This week, midterms began, and us first and second year Collegians had our summative interviews. Since we're about 3/4ths of the way through the school year, it's time to evaluate our growth over the last year, what ways we've done well, and what ways we're deficient so we can prepare for next year's formation goals. The summative interview is when the seminarian meets with the formators, or the priests in charge of shaping our character into that of good priests. We dress formally and have a meeting in the board room. After the meeting, the formators will write a report about us that will be delivered to the Rector, our Bishop, and our Director of Vocations. I had my summative yesterday. My formators were very supportive. My formators asked me what I thought my greatest growth was this year. I responded that it was a growth in charity. I very quickly discovered that I have difficulty loving some of the guys here. After some discernment with my spiritual director, I realized it's because they remind me of parts of myself that I don't like. I resolved to go the extra mile in showing charity towards my brothers. I made a point to pick up trash if I found it in the halls, to spare the time to complete any house chore that was undone, and to offer to throw out other people's garbage or wash their plate. Before, I was holding my brothers' faults in the way of loving them. I was too prideful to show them as much mercy as Christ wants me to, just as I was too prideful to completely forgive myself. Every act of service was a reminder of how God sees me and how God sees them - as worthy of my love because Christ loves and deserving of my forgiveness because Christ forgives. This is a life-long struggle, of course. But in a special way this year, charity has soothed a lot of the pains of community life and has opened the door to its many blessings. Totus Tuus! P.S. My sincerest apologies for missing a post last week. The weeks have been slipping by me as papers and tests pile up. But that's not a valid excuse. I'm sorry.
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Seminary lore holds that January and February are the most difficult months for seminarians. An adage past down through oral tradition says that seminarians aren't allowed to discern out during these months. There's a level of truth there. In order to properly discern something, a person has to be in a solid state of mind. Between the gloomy weather, growing stacks of reading and writing to be done, and the general stresses of community life, it is common for seminarians to experience desolation. Ignatian discernment reminds us that desolation is the time to persevere in prayer and faithfulness, not abandon the call.
I've definitely noticed that nerves are higher all around campus. I've seen some tempers flare, and noticed that people are a little less patient then they've been in the past. I've seen it creeping up in my own heart as well. Preparations are currently underway to hold our annual Basketball tournament over this weekend. I've heard that 90 seminarians from around the country will be coming to stay with us and play basketball. A week from now, we'll also be hosting the annual SEEK retreat for FOCUS missionaries in the area. It's a 500 person conference. Based on some of the community-addressed emails I've received, it seems like even the faculty are under pressure right now. Understandable - we're practically tripling in size for a weekend. Yesterday, I was able to make it to my Apostolic Assignment for the first time this year. (The bad weather and COVID quarantine prevented it the last couple weeks.) I was partnered up with a classmate and we drove to a nursing home. Masked and face-shielded by the home's policy, we visited the Catholic patients who were awake and any patients that seemed willing to talk. My experiences there are something I want to spend more time praying over. My heart was moved with compassion for everyone I saw there. We met with a man who had a large part of his skull and brain removed due to medical complications resulting from an assault. (Please pray for him, he is going to have a surgery to reattach a part of his brain and skull.) He was one of the sweetest, most humble people I've ever met, and it's self-evident how much he loves the Lord. It was practically radiating off of him. I asked him how his relationship with God became the way it is today. He said, "painfully." If I was grappling with any form of self-pity before meeting him and the other patients, it's gone now. I was so caught up in all the assignments yet to be done, the responsibilities to be taken care of after getting quarantined, and how abysmal it was that I wasn't getting as much (or quality) sleep as I would like, that in some ways I missed the point. Every suffering is meant to draw me closer to Christ. Every time the body of Christ suffers it looks more and more like the Suffering Head. As I contemplate and take steps toward the priesthood and the existence of the priest "in the person of Christ," I need to imitate Christ in offering everything I say, do, rejoice in, and suffer through as a gift to the Father. Friday, January 21: It's the morning of the March for Life. After an early breakfast, the seminarians and priests of the Pontifical College Josephinum board the bus for the Basilica of Saint Mary in Old Town Alexandria.
We arrived early so we could have time to pray before mass. A couple minutes before mass, the invasion began. Youth groups streamed into the church, filling every pew in rivers of color-coordinated t-shirts. Moments like that remind me that there's hope for the future of the church. After mass, we were given the next couple of hours to explore Alexandria, VA and get some food before we marched. I wandered the city with a couple other guys, and we stopped at a french cafe. Afterwards, we walked down to the waterfront. I was surprised by how beautiful the city was, and I could have spent another couple hours touring cobbled streets, red brick sidewalks, old buildings, and street markets. We all convened at the bus and traveled into Washington D.C. and rallied with tens of thousands of Marchers. First, I was amazed by the sheer number of people present at the march. Then I was amazed at the number of Catholics I saw. I think about half of the group banners I saw were Catholic. The Josephinum's banner included - which was carried by yours truly. The Josephinum prayed a 15 decade rosary during the entire march, singing hymns between each decade. I was touched whenever someone would pray or sing along, or would come up to us and ask who we were, where we were from, promise to pray for us, or tell stories about how they knew someone who attended the Josephinum. I ran into a lot of friends that I hadn't seen in a while. Other groups chanted protest songs or pro-life slogans. Bands played. The state police were out, but they seemed very unconcerned about us. Frankly, it seemed like they were congregating around the small groups of counter-protestors... It was surreal being and praying in the capitol city and passing by government buildings. I forget which building it was on, but some government employees were cheering us on from a balcony. One of them ran back into the building and came out with some pom-poms! A long drive back to Columbus and some time to think later, I am still inspired by what I saw and experienced at the March for Life. We were near the front of the March, and I remember looking back while on top of Capitol Hill to see people stretching on and on behind us, in solidarity for the dignity of every human life. The March for Life is a beacon of hope for this country and a call for all the faithful to protest and pray for an end to abortion. P.S. I have finished quarantine round two. I'm still pretty tired and I have plenty of work to catch up on. Still, God is good - I had a very prayerful quarantine. Thank you for the prayers! |
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July 2023
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